What Proverbs 22:6 Really Says About Raising a Child…

I have personally seen a lot of butchery done to the interpretation of Proverb 22:6, which states, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Due to faulty interpretation, some parents hang on to a promise that Scripture simply does not make. Plainly stated, this verse does NOT say if you train your child to be a Christ-follower, they definitely will become one. I can personally introduce you to many parents who have set very Godly examples for their children and trained them well, and yet the results would be considered extremely disappointing. Taking this from the opposite perspective, I know many children that did NOT have Christ-like examples growing up, and became strong Christ-followers. My parents were not even Christians while I was growing up, but God plucked me out and made me one…praise Him! A strong one; I guess that is debatable. But He did save me. And this I could never thank Him enough for! This is my story…http://reachinghigherwithmeyer.blogspot.com/2014/10/this-is-my-story.html.

There are other things to consider when reading and interpreting proverbs. You need to know this in order to understand them properly. They are: (1) proverbial wisdom gives the best advice for life assuming an ordered world (which is not always the case), (2) proverbs direct the investigator of wisdom to paths of life that generally have the best results, (3) proverbs are designed to impart common wisdom, always with the possibility of exceptional circumstances, (4) a proverb does not always state a universal truth (i.e. it might not happen the same way, every time), (5) a proverb might only be true at the right time and circumstance (i.e. Prov 10:4 states diligent hands bring wealth, which is not always true), and lastly, (6) there are some proverbs that are always true (i.e. Prov 1:7). [For a full article on this topic regarding proverbial wisdom, please click on the following link: http://reachinghigherwithmeyer.blogspot.com/2015/06/proverbs-what-it-teaches-in-regard-to.html ].

So what does this proverb really say?
Only God makes Godly people. Parents just shepherd their children. They have a God-given responsibility to train them to be Godly and set a Christ-like example for them. And seeing the example lived out in a parent is arguably the most vital part of the training. Theoretical training alone just does not cut it. The “do as I say and not as I do” example is hypocritical and has no biblical basis. As Proverbs 22:6 says, if parents set a Godly example, simply put, a child cannot escape Godly training. They heard it and lived with it. It was demonstrated for these kids – there is no excuse for ignorance. They will not be able to depart from the modeling their parents set forth while they grew up. Now, do children have to follow the model? Obviously the choice is the child’s to do so (or not) once they have grown up.

Specifically for Christ-followers – to the extent you do NOT model Christ-likeness, think of the hardship you create for your children. Yes…God could make up for the deficiency…praise Him! But man oh man, if Godly teaching and modeling is not done while there is an opportunity to do so (which is something that the Lord clearly requires all parents to do), children will very likely suffer for it. I see this happen time and time again for various reasons. The excuses for the negligence are almost always entirely lame. It is truly tough to watch it happen. At times, seeing the catastrophic consequences are heartbreaking as well.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 11:19 You shall teach them [God’s Word] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Psalm 78:4-7 We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

God the Father spoke to God the Son publicly two times in Scripture. You know what He said? I love you and I am proud of you. Look for yourselves (see Matt 3:17; 17:5)! How many times have you said what the Father said to His Son – to your child? Follow the model that God gave to us and provide that modeling to your children. Additionally parents, one of the best and most important things you can do for your kids is to model a Godly marriage (see Eph 5:22-33). If you are getting married, or you are married already and considering having children, please pay close attention to these biblical passages above. If you already had children and did not set enough of a Christ-like example for them, either individually and/or as a married couple, repent and let the Lord empower you to change direction, A strong marriage model is vital for your kids to follow if they eventually get married. Otherwise, how will they know what to do once they “tie the knot?” Much prayer is necessary going forward to make up for the transgression if your modeling fell short. The divine petition would be to plead with the Lord to do something amazing to set forth the example that you did not, specifically if the opportunity is now lost. And praise be to God – He answers prayers if you pray righteously and appropriately. (For instructions on this, you can see the article http://reachinghigherwithmeyer.blogspot.com/2013/07/christianity-101-praying-powerfully-and.html for more details). If you still have the opportunity to set that Godly example with your kids and have not successfully done so in the past, take heart. There is no better time then now to repent, ask God and your children for forgiveness, and set the Christ-like example that is required going forward. I personally did this and God worked in amazing ways to make up for many of my past parenting shortfalls. So do not delay – take this step now! Our God is an awesome God, and “godly grief produces a repentance that leads to [deliverance] without regret” (2 Cor 7:10a).

Christ died for your sin and will forgive you if you truly repent. There need not be any regret after God forgives you, “as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us” (Psa 103:12). And asking for forgiveness from your children when necessary, although it could be very humbling, is a priceless Godly example to show them. This way they get comfortable asking for forgiveness when they sin, just as their parent’s did/do. It is a practice we all should be doing continuously with the Lord no matter how old we are. And we should be extremely thankful that the Lord provided repentance, made effective by the work of Jesus Christ, to bridge the holy with the unholy (Rom 3:21-26). It allows mankind to benefit from God’s saving grace and to have a personal relationship with Him. “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19-20a). Modeling repentance sets a very Godly example and reaps priceless rewards. It is an imperative and continuous thing “to do” for the true Christ-follower! It is a crucial part of parental modeling – and here’s why…

Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Train up your child in the way he/she should go. Not with just words, but imitate Christ in all of your parenting, repenting upon any failure. That is what the Word of God instructs us to do in all matters (see 1 John 2:1). It is the best thing you could ever do for your child. And Godly training could never be taken away from them…praise Him!