What Does God Tell Husbands and Wives They Need To Do To Keep Their Spouses Fulfilled?

Genesis 1:26-27  “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness’…So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” 

What does God tell husbands they need to do to keep their wives fulfilled and to satisfy their femininity?
They must love their wives (e.g. Eph 5:25, 28, 33, Col 3:19, Gen 29:32; Judg 14:16, 16:15; Hos 3:1), and meet their need for romance, intimacy, and relational security (e.g. SOS 3:4; 2:6, 8:3; 1 Cor 7:3-5; Gen 29:34, 30:20).  Men must speak kindly and tenderly to their wives (e.g. Hos 2:14; Judg 19:3), but also must be strong for them as a leader, protector, and provider (e.g. Eph 5:23-24; 1 Cor 11:3, 16:13; Neh 4:14; Num 1:2-3, Deut 24:5, Josh 1:14, Matt 2:13-14; Gen 2:15), and provide a great sense of security.  She is the “weaker vessel” (1 Pet 3:7), and more vulnerable to deceit (cf. 1 Tim 2:14). Husbands must “live with [their] wives in an understanding way” (1 Pet 3:7), and in turn, women long for their spouses to know them in a deep way.  Men are also specifically warned not to be bitter with their wives (Col 3:19).

Interestingly, “the Word” (John 1:1) instructs wives quite differently than the directives given to their spouses.

What does God tell wives they need to do to keep their husbands fulfilled and to satisfy their masculinity?

They are told to respect their husbands (e.g. Eph 5:33),“even if any of them are disobedient to the Word” (1 Pet 3:1-6). Wives must submit to their husbands (e.g. Col 3:17; 1 Pet 3:1; Eph 5:22-24), and understand their mates visual orientation and sexual vulnerabilities (e.g. Prov 5:19; Matt 5:28; 2 Sam 11:2).  Due to this ocular sensitivity, it is important that wives must never withhold themselves from their spouse, unless for a mutually agreed upon time of prayer, “so that Satan will not tempt them”(1 Cor 7:3-5).  The Scripture on this principle happens to be bi-directional, but for very different reasons.  If a husband deprives his wife, it can very possibly lead to a lack of a woman’s security, and leave her unfulfilled in regard to affection.

If you look at all the instructions to the husband and attempt to glean a common theme, they seem to be emotionally-centered and focused on feelings (e.g. needing to love, romance, to be intimate, provide security, treat kindly and tenderly, handle wife like ‘fine china,’ to deeply understand, and not to deal with her harshly).  If you examine the other side of the equation, a wife seems to have more directives that are more action-oriented, to support a man’s leadership (e.g. to respect, submit, and provide physical comfort). Men’s emotions are not as heavily focused on by their helpmate’s actions, versus the women’s feelings being of primary importance for men to deal with sensitively and appropriately.  All these instructions seemingly define roles which satisfy the inherent nature of the opposite gender.

One might objectively say based on Scripture, manhood and womanhood are very complementary (versus overlapping). That is why husbands and wives must adhere to biblical roles and responsibilities, in order to complete each other and fully mirror the image and likeness of God as much as possible…together!  In this way, they will reap all the intended benefits of marriage and receive all the resulting blessings!  Any failure to follow God’s instructions in regard to being a Godly husband or wife will result in unnecessary trials and tribulations.  So then: why not attempt to follow the Lord’s instructions in regard to marriage, repenting upon any failure(s), and be richly blessed in your marital relationship?  That is the successful prescription that God calls for in marriage…so why even bother going against it (unless you’re looking for trouble)?